Older women more likely to have sex on the first date

Older women have been around the block, and aren't expecting as much from a relationship.

Many of them are not looking for commitment and marriage, they just want to have a good time.
In a recent study when it came to the question of having sex on a first date if there was chemistry, 17 percent of the 20 somethings said that was a possibility versus 28 percent of the over 30 women  and 30 percent of the over 40 women. Older women are a better bet for first date sex.

If the first thing you thought was, “Really? I thought younger girls were throwing it around like confetti,” you and me both. With the background noise of hook-up culture, sexting, friends with benefits, and the Duke Sex List it’s easy to think that younger women are pretty sexually aggressive… that is, if pop culture is your main source of information.

Older woman sitting on bed in black evening dress

The fact is that they do have other influences besides those mentioned above. Kylstra offered some additional thoughts via email on why young women are more conservative than one might imagine.

Girls in their twenties, she offers, are still close enough with family and friends to consider their opinions important; indeed, in the story it notes that the dating site OKCupid found that “my girlfriends” is the most common phrase used by straight women in their profiles and “close with my mother” is in the top 20. If mom or the BFFs don’t approve of jumping into bed, she might be less likely to rush it . . .

Mature woman in tan bra laying on bed

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Kylstra also notes a study from the University of Texas at Austin which shows that women in the middle age group of 27-45 (the other groups were 18-26 and 45+) thought about and had more sex and “are more willing to engage in sex after knowing a partner for either one month, one week or one evening,” according to Tom Jacobs who wrote about the study for Miller-McCune. The researchers think this is a response to declining fertility, but also noted it can simply be that older women are more comfortable with sex.

“Older women – that’s 'older' since 40's is still young to me – are clearer about what they want and what they don’t,” says psychotherapist Isadora Alman, whose sex and relationship advice column “Ask Isadora,” has been running in various outlets for 25 years. “Older women also may be looking for good sex since they may have had enough of the other kind,” she says.

Blond older woman in black dress

And with screaming orgasms in mind we must, of course, address the "cougar,” an older-woman image that has become a caricature. “Everyone’s using the word cougar and it’s gotten a bad rap,” says LA Talk Radio’s Lucia, a sex and relationships expert who recently launched Cougar Dating.

As for the supposedly common knowledge that men are biologically driven to seek younger, more fertile women, it may be common, but it may not be knowledge, but rather, preference. Some men, Lucia says, “are thinking 'Even though I’m programmed to want to be with someone fertile my attraction is to someone older,' and so they’re choosing to go with their attraction rather than their programming.”

“We’re brought up to think (men) want youth …why would they want an older woman? Luckily, men aren’t as shallow as that,” she says, and cites confidence, experience, and freedom from drama among the draws of the mature female . . .

Whether it’s that distant call of our '70s youth, our biological clocks, or our gratifying comfort with ourselves, we older ladies are pretty sexually aggressive. We may not all be cougars…but we can be tigresses . . .

Mature women are extremely active on adult online dating communities

Older women and men are extremely active in the online adult dating scene and while some segments of society may still frown upon them freely expressing their sexual vibrancy, others within the community welcome them with open arms, finding them to be as desirable as any other members of the adult online dating community.

Older blond woman in blue jeans and pink top

According to a study in the New England Journal of Medicine, 73 percent of adults ages 57 to 64 say they are sexually active and 53 percent of adults 65 to 74 are still enjoying sex. In senior living communities in Florida, for example, a recent public relations campaign has been started to help seniors cut down on the number of cases of sexually transmitted diseases that have begun cropping up due to the active sex lives of the seniors. And while the STD situation may be dire, the fact that seniors are still extremely sexually active shows why they have become a big part of the adult online dating community.

Mature women 57 - 64 are extremely sexually active

While there are several dating sites for older individuals which are more traditional, with modest descriptions and an expressed desire for partners who enjoy “walks on the beach, horseback riding, cruises and quiet evenings at home”, older individuals who become members of discreet adult dating websites are definitely more explicit in their desires for the perfect partner, or partners.

Mature woman in white dress

Like others who join discreet adult dating websites, older individuals are explicit about what they are looking for and what they want. They’ve decided to cut through the pretense and the stereotypes of being an older individual and let their sexual desire come out. Because they’re in an atmosphere of like-minded adults who desire discreet (and sometimes not-so-discreet) adult affairs, they’re often not afraid to be as bold as they can. Older women, in particular, may find the atmosphere exhilarating due to the sheer number of men who express a desire to meet them for discreet sexual relationships.

Mature women join adult dating sites because they want sex

Even more appealing to older individuals who decided to become members of adult dating websites is the number of invitations they will get for discreet affairs from potential partners who are younger than them. Where once older individuals were limited by society and perhaps their own sense of morality to date someone as old or older than they were, adult dating websites have shown them that they have an appeal that stretches beyond their age group. It’s not unusual for someone in their 60s to make a connection, both sexual and personal, with someone in their 40s or even 30s. Online adult dating makes it possible for older individuals to widen their pool of potential partners and find sexual partners of all ages anywhere in the nation – across the country or right in their own backyard.

Perhaps one of the biggest reasons why discreet online adult dating has become so popular with older individuals is the discrepancy in the sexual desires of spouses or partners. Studies have found that sexual desire (but not the ability to have and enjoy sex) begins to decline in men around the age of 30, while in women it seems to begin to increase around the same age. So in the past, women may have reluctantly tailored their sexual life to that of their husbands, which meant less and less sex even though they may have desires more and more. But along came discreet adult dating websites and with it a new avenue for older women to find the sexual relations they desire in an atmosphere that allowed them to continue their primary relationship. They can find a partner to help them do all of the things that they were told “good girls” don’t do without pressuring their husbands.

Mature woman wearing black dress and black pantyhose

But this scenario may also come into play for men as well. The ones who retain their sexual desire may find their wives unwilling (or even physically unable) to do the things they have always desired in the bedroom. And again, rather than continue to try and pressure their wives into doing something they clearly do not want to do, or risk getting entangled in an affair with someone familiar or close to both of them that can quickly spiral out of control, they can opt to join a discreet adult dating website where they can meet someone who understands the need for discretion yet has similar sexual needs and desires.

Thanks to the atmosphere adult dating website, which is fairly open and accepting of almost any and all lifestyles and personalities, older adults often don’t feel the need to be less than forthcoming with their personal statistics or descriptions. Many are free to disclose their age range and preferences, knowing that among the millions of other members of the site, there are thousands who will find them attractive and desirable. In fact, many older adults find themselves weighting their options among several potential partners (and engaging in several discreet relationships).